Sorry, But These 10 Tattoos WON’T Make You Look Badass

If you are a real gang member who has been shot a couple times, a soldier who has been in a couple of wars, a mafia boss who survived a couple of ambushes, a black-belt who broke at least a couple of noses, or a ranger who killed a couple of tigers barehanded, then you can actually get any of the tattoos below and it will look fine.

On all other cases, getting any of these tattoos will make you look like a wimp who is trying to look like a badass. Sorry dude, but someone had to tell you!

1. The Scorpion on the Neck/Shoulder

scorpion tattoo

I don’t care if your Zodiac sign is the scorpion. In fact, the very idea of getting a tattoo with your Zodiac sign is lame (I wanted to use another word, but let’s try to be politically correct…).

2. The Tribal Tattoo on the Arm


Planning to get a tribal tattoo on your arm? The question then becomes: What frigging tribe do you belong to? None? Well, now you do, the moron’s tribe!

3. Any Tattoo Below The Waist Line


You got a tattoo where? On your calf? What the heck dude, these are the things you should run by your friends first, and I am sure they would have stopped you! I don’t care if the tattoo is the picture of the boogie man himself…. tattoos below the waist line are for the ladies (unless your whole upper body is already covered with them!).

4. The Dragon on the Back


Are you a frigging Yakuza member? I mean, do you at least have any relationship with any oriental culture? Are you a black-belt on some martial art? Then why the heck do you want to tattoo a big ass dragon on your back?

5. The Barbed Wire on the Arm


Do you think that a barbed wire around you biceps you make you look tough? Think again. Get one big enough and you might get featured on the FAIL Blog….

6. The Tiger on The Back/Chest


Sure, tigers are mean. The frigging beats can split a wild boar with a single strike. And they’ll eat the boar on the spot, raw! What about you? Can you at least eat a raw stake? A bloody one? No? Well, better to pass on the tattoo then.

7. The Skull on The Arm

skull tattoo

Are you a pirate? Have you been in prison for several years? No? Then tattooing a skull on your arm is probably not the wisest thing to do. And no, people won’t fear you if you get one.

8. The Snake on The Arm/Chest

snake tattoo

Getting a snake tattoo on your arm or chest? Do you want to tell other people you can strike at any moment, that you bite? Come on… grow a pair!

9. The Asian Lettering


Why on earth would you get a tattoo in a language you can’t read? Sure, Asian symbols and letterings are closely associated with martial arts, knights and samurais, but getting them inked on your body won’t make you a ninja. Instead of spending $300 in that tattoo, go join a Boxing club or a Jiu-Jitsu dojo, kid.

10. The Wolf on The Back/Shoulder

wolf tattoo

So you think you are a lone man huh? How many times have you retreated to the forest and stayed there, alone, with only a knife to support you, for weeks in a row? I am guessing the answer is zero….

One Response to Sorry, But These 10 Tattoos WON’T Make You Look Badass

  1. DC Norman says:

    So, what’s left for non-pirates, non mafia bosses, non gang bangers – pixies, clowns – uh, kittens?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>